Megaman the Teacher
by CrazedNarutoFan
Summary: Megaman gets an opportunity to teach some navis how to netbattle. Though it's not as easy as he would've hoped.
1. Meet 'n Greet

**Disclaimer- I don't own any characters. They belong to Ryo Takamisaki and CAPCOM.**

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Lan was worried that Megaman wouldn't be able to handle the task assigned to him. "I know that this gives me extra credit towards my next math test, but will you be able to tolerate them?"

"I've been through much worse. I can deal with young navis. I think it'll be fun. Plus, you really need extra credit."

Lan grumbled something about not being too stupid, but Megaman brushed it off.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine."

Megaman logged out of his PET and appeared before a room. It sounded like a freakin' zoo. He was almost sure that he heard desks being thrown and screams of pain following. He began to doubt himself.

"If I die, please let Lan get at least a seventy on the test."

He braced himself and opened the door…only to be hit in the face with a textbook. He hit the ground, grabbing his face.

"What the hell was that!? Are you trying to kill me!?"

The navis laughed at his pain. Already this seemed like hell. Megaman stood up and walked to the front of the room. He had to think happy thoughts. Things have been worse.

"Who are you? You seem a little old for this class."

"I'm your new teacher for this week. You can just call me Megaman."

"Why are you here?"

"To teach you. What else do teachers do these days?"

One kid stood up and pointed cynically at Megaman.

"I bet you couldn't net battle in your life!"

"You're betting me? I could take down an entire army of viruses before you finished picking your nose."

The kid was obviously insulted. He picked up a book on viruses and threw it at Megaman. Without thinking, he fired the buster and destroyed the air-born object. A chorus of 'ohhhs' and 'ahhs' were heard from the class. The young navi took a seat after making himself look like an idiot.

"I wouldn't do that again if I were you. Now, not to rush things, but lets get started. I assume you all have textbooks on net battling. Take them out and turn to page ten.

"I don't have a textbook." This was from the kid who sacrificed his. Megaman walked up to him making the navi feel inferior.

"Whose fault would that be? I wonder…" Megaman presented him with another book. "Let's not do that again. I not a bad guy, but if you tick me off, I won't hesitate on punishing you. Just try to stay on my good side. Now will someone please read what is on page ten? How about you."

A young girl began to read what was the table of contents.

"Page 11- Viruses, page 14- Net battling… There's a chapter in here about deletion! Megaman, what's deletion like?"

"Uh…" Random images of yaoi and shounen-ai began flooding his head. 'Lan…'

"Megaman?"

"What? Oh yeah, never mind. It's really not that bad. 'Gods, I'm perverted.'

"What do we do now?"

"Start on page 11 and read to the end of the chapter until the lunch bell. We can relax and then, since it's my first day, we can start a topic of your interest."

The navis spent five minutes reading before they heard the bell. They logged out to see their net ops. Megaman spent his lunch break cleaning the massacre the kids had left behind.

'How'd finger paint get on the ceiling?'

**How is the first chapter? This story will be complete crack that just comes up at will. I want to be as random as ever. The next chapter will deal with the issue of American dubbing of the show. This ought to be fun…**

**Please review so I know you all enjoyed it.**


	2. Damn You, American Dubbing!

"So class, have you decided on what you want to discuss?" The students each raised their hands. Megaman had rigged the desks so that a misbehaving student would get a good jolt. It seemed really effective. "How about you, Rainbow?" This girl had proved to Megaman that she was the brightest student (no pun intended).

"I wouldn't mind learning about battlechips and how to use them."

"That's so lame. I want to know why Megaman actually sounds like his real gender and not like a girl!" This was from the same kid who assaulted Megaman before.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean!? I'm a guy! I should sound like a guy!"

The kid snickered. "But you had a girl voice actor in Japan. If I remember correctly, so did your net-op."

"Oh, that. You can blame the American dubbing for that. Actually… you can blame everything that went wrong with this show on the company that produced us. Look at our fan base. Almost every online forum has people complaining about how horrible the dub was. I'm still pissed about the voice actor changes between season one and Axess."

Another kid jumped out of his seat. "How in the hell were Americans able to know that you got a vacation around the world? Almost two episodes after the N1 Grand Prix, Maylu runs into Lan's room complaining that he just got back and slept too late."

"I'd have to agree with you there. I don't understand why my name had to become Megaman. What was so wrong about Rockman?"

"America's too serious when it comes to anime. They probably changed you name because you weren't a rock. Though, they could've used a rock pun somewhere in between the other ten thousand puns in the first episode."

Megaman was silent and suddenly dropped to the ground and started screaming, "The puns! I hated those damn puns. The author of this story nearly had a brain aneurism after the first ten episodes. Just mentioning the puns probably have her curled up in a fetal position holding her plushie of me tight."

Rainbow stood up seeing as how nobody was being shocked at the moment.

"Speaking of bad dubbing, how can a blurred cyber sword even cut your enemy? Does it work?"

Megaman did his best to recover. "Honestly, the battles in America have been degraded so much that anyone who watches those fights has their I.Q. dropped by at least forty points. The cyber sword… Protoman's favorite weapon… couldn't cut a block of frickin' cheese!"

"Why is Protoman's name in Japanese Blues?"

"Did any of you ever read the manga!? It's the only part of our franchise that wasn't destroyed! In volume seven, Ryo Takamisaki states that every character was designed with a musical milieu in mind. The only people not included in this were our net-ops and those who weren't main characters."

"_Aaaaaahhhhhh!"_

"Did anyone just hear that? It sounded like a dying human."

"Don't worry. That's just the author having a heart attack. She'll get over it soon."

"How can she still be typing this when she's dying? It's inconceivable!"

"First of all, stop watching The Princess Bride. Second, she's watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail so she's probably just using movie quotes to entertain our audience. Third, this is a fan fiction. Anything happens. Can't you see that!? Not every male character in anime can be put in yaoi, but with fan fiction, it happens!"

The class stared at Megaman for a bit and sat down in their desks. Megaman relaxed and regained composure. He looked out at the rest of the class. The all jumped as they got an unexpected shock.

"I didn't say you could stand up."

**Wow. That. Was. So. Random. This chapter was to be funny, but to also voice my disapproval for the American dub. I don't have a grudge against any American voice actors. In fact, I salute you Andrew Francis. You are a great voice actor. I love your voice!**

**Sorry. I highly advise anyone to go out and search for the original episodes. They are much better.**

**Feel free to review and discuss what you think of the dub versus original. I'd like to see your opinion. Next chapter will be more substantial. I just felt this was right. **


	3. How do these Work?

"Alright class, today we will be working with battle chips

"Alright class, today we will be working with battle chips."

"Isn't that what this friggin' class is about?"

Silence…and another shock for the class clown, who's name shall not be mentioned because he is under the witness protection program. It even has its own firewall!

"As I was saying, we're going to practice small fights and how to use the weapons without killing yourselves."

"But I want to know what death is like."

"Shut the hell up, Emoman! Just because your name has emo in it doesn't mean you have to be an emo."

"Sorry…"

"Now, if you will all come up here, we can begin. Each of you can grab a weapon of your choice. Just be careful-"

A blood-curdling scream came from Rainbow as she fell to the ground unconscious. A boy had taken a ratty chip and scared the crap out of her. Megaman didn't even think Roll was that pathetic.

"Let's just forget her. Hey, Pumpkinman, stop swinging that cyber sword. You could-"

One navi suddenly lost an arm.

"Well, I was going to say you could take out an eye, but an arm works too. Okay, to those of you who are able to fight, get in pairs and prepare to spar."

The kids paired together and held their weapons in a ready position. It seemed okay for now. Just doing something this simple hadn't killed anyone…yet.

"Start fighting and let me see if you're ready to advance to the next level. I'd be surprised if you can pull this off."

"What's the next lev-?"

The navis partner didn't hesitate to attack. He stabbed the girl in the chest with a sword.

"Ow, my boobs."

That was the last thing she said before being deleted.

"You ass-wipe! I didn't mean you could actually kill her! Well, she was annoying." Everyone had to agree with that.

"Megaman, do navis have human parts? Like what she hurt?"

"Why do you think we have these skin-tight suits? We need to show a little something here and there."

"Is it for the appeal or entertainment of our net ops?"

Megaman was silent. His mind was thinking of things Lan had made him do. He could say he was scarred for life, but he couldn't say he hated it.

"No comment. Anyway, have you done anything spectacular yet?"

"Yeah, look at my step sword move!"

The kid looked like a ballerina doing those moves.

"How was that!?"

"That was so gay! What the hell was that!? This is how you do it!"

Megaman demonstrated for his audience.

"That was much better, wasn't it?"

All in unison, the kids cried, "Gay!!"

Megaman stood still for a minute before picking up a mini-boomer and chucking at the class. They screamed bloody murder as a crater was created in the ground.

"Was that gay?"

The class bowed before him.

"We are not worthy! We are not worthy!"

"That's better."

"Megaman, where is the class-clown?"

He looked around and saw the boy next to the table with weapons. He picked up a time bomb and accidentally activated it. No body moved or screamed as the bomb went off. Everyone was blown away. Megaman was the only one still standing with a barrier chip surrounding him.

"Losers."

He was about to walk away, seeing as how they were all dead, when he heard a voice.

"Hey, Megaman. We're alive!"

Megaman said nothing and didn't wonder how they were alive. This was surely a present from hell. He sat down in a corner, facing a wall, scribbling hastily in a little black notebook. The cover had the words Death Note inscribed on it. He was writing the authors name, which was unfortunate for him because she was also under the witness protection program. He was writing a fake alias. If only he had the Shinigami eyes.

**Oh gods! Megaman trying to kill me! Where will I go? What will I do?**

**Megaman- "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"**

**Oh well. This isn't the first time my characters have wanted to kill me. Was this funny? I hope you all liked it. Please review and let me know what you think. **


	4. Your Advice doesn't Help!

"Damn, why didn't the Death Note work!? She should be dead right now!"

"Megaman, are you alright? You seem a little… out of it today."

Megaman was pacing the front of the room, seething in anger and murderous intent. He gritted his teeth and threw a stress ball through the door window.

"I just fine!"

"Good, now we can move on to class. What's on the agenda today?"

"Virus busting, but I'm sure none of you can handle it. I won't dare give you directions. Just grab a weapon and go next door. We'll have a simulation there."

Everyone followed Megaman to the next room and prepared themselves for battle. He pressed a button on the wall which summoned hundreds of viruses. Megaman laughed to himself as he watched the kids. They had all chosen fire based weapons, so just to be mean, he summoned fire viruses including Spikey, the candle shaped creatures, and the fire teapots that looked like genie lamps. The kids seemed absolutely stunned.

"Megaman, why don't these work? My arm hurts from holding up this Vulcan Cannon."

"You just have to shoot more. There's no trick."

The kids stepped back to think for a second.

"Hey, maybe wood chips work! Log, go!"

Megaman was now on the ground trying not to cry from laughing so much. The navis were proving that they were stupid and probably weren't programmed right.

"Crap! This isn't working. The logs keep combusting! What next?"

"Maybe lightning!"

Nothing seemed to be working. They had soon tried every elemental chip except one. They hadn't realized this until one navis circuitry suddenly started working.

"Maybe, water works! Though I doubt it'll do anything."

Megaman was paralyzed by laughter. Never in his life had he encountered stupid navis. This was better than watching Lan crash and burn on his Math tests.

"Wow, water actually worked! Who would have guessed?"

"Megaman, what do we do if we encounter a virus such as the Life Virus?"

"In your case, stick your head between you knees and kiss your ass goodbye." Megaman had somehow managed to recover from laughing. He didn't think he could do it.

"Now why do you have to be so mean?" Megaman looked at the kids and hit the summoning button again.

"No, more viruses! Since they're fire… I wonder what chip will work."

Megaman left the room and called to Lan.

"Hey, Lan, could you send this e-mail to this specific person at this address? It'd be a huge favor."

"Sure, no problem."

**In and alternate universe (USA)-**

"I wonder what this is. I never get e-mail. It says, 'Seven days.' Whoever this is was stupid. It only works over the phone. I haven't even watched The Ring in ages. Stupid idiot. Oh well, time to clean my plushie army."

Megaman had no idea of who he was messing with. She was powerful in the way of the keyboard and had ways to torture him to no end. What was next to come was pure hell.

**I understand this was short, but bear with me. I was out of ideas and am suffering from a small writers block. I won't update for a while because I'm going on vacation, but I'll try my best. If I can't get to a computer, please be patient. I'm doing my best to accommodate for those who like short update periods (I'm one of them).**

**Please review and enjoy. **


	5. Dooms Day

"Megaman, when will school be over? I mean, our year isn't as long as the humans."

Megaman was doing some paper work at his desk when the kids asked. Apparently you had to report when a navi was deleted in class. As teacher, he had broken the school record for most students deleted in a semester. It was nothing to be proud of, but he considered it special to accomplish something of that magnitude. He looked up and eyed the class.

"You'll be done when you can learn to be a successful navigator. You can't fight or use a battle chip now without blowing yourselves to pieces. Actually, today's class will be all about that."

"About what?"

"Putting everything you've learned together. You'll be experiencing an actual netbattle. My friend will act as your opponent."

Megaman stood up and opened the door allowing someone to come in. A bright light shined behind the figure, giving him a radiant glow.

"Is it god? They look so angelic. They have wings. Why does this person give off such an amazing presence?"

Another student stood up and pointed. They remained quiet, building suspense until, "I like pretty lights!"

The figure stepped forward and revealed a few technicians working on the hallway lights, which were highly fluorescent. The wings came from a man holding a large, feathery mop. The navi was Protoman, still stubborn looking as ever. He walked to Megaman and stared out at the class.

"When you told me they were idiots, you weren't kidding. What's their I.Q.?"

"Below retard. Okay class, you'll each be fighting Protoman here. He's a top netbattler, so give it your all."

The kids followed Megaman out to the school yard where there was a large turf built for withstanding harsh attacks and training courses. Protoman stood at one end and a kid approached his own end. Megaman blew a whistle and the two clashed. The end result: deletion of a student. Protoman looked at Megaman for forgiveness, but Megaman only shrugged. His grades were bad enough any way.

The next nine out of ten battles went to Protoman with the result leading to the deletion of each kid. The tenth battle was about to begin. The two challengers took their places and waited to start. Megaman looked at both navis.

"Begin!"

Protoman jumped from his place and brought his sword to the navis head. The navi dodged and began to avoid every attack, bending like rubber. This wasn't possible. Only Megaman and Bass had ever been able to avoid his blows. He stopped and turned to Megaman.

"Is this freakin' One Piece? I swear to god that's not a navi but Luffy D. Monkey."

"'Tis I, Luffy!" The intruder ripped off their disguise and, indeed, there stood Luffy D. Monkey. Megaman and Protoman both sweat dropped and sighed.

"Why is he here?"

"It's that damned author. She loves torturing me. Just for this, I plan on killing her tomorrow. Want to join me?"

"Yes."

Protoman ran at the man and cut off his arms.

"Go away, or I'll kill you."

"You can't kill me! I'll find the One Pie-"

Protoman cut of his head and punted it across the yard.

"Damn, that guy's more annoying than those Tickle Me Elmos."

"Didn't Chaud get one of those?"

"No, Tickle Me Emo. He also bought me a bright pink bow, for god only knows why, but I won't wear it. I have pride, damn it."

Megaman laughed.

"So, meet here tomorrow and we'll kill here?"

"That's fine with me. Bring every possible maiming battle chip."

Protoman logged out leaving Megaman to curl up on the ground into a fetal position. He was afraid of what might happen the next day. She had weapons of mass destruction. That damned pen and computer!

**I'm back everyone. Did you like this chapter? It's short, but the story is almost done. I battle those two in the next chapter. Megaman has no class, Luffy's dead (sorry One Piece fans. No hard feelings?), and Lan bombed the math test. We shall see what occurs next. Even I don't know what I'm writing. **

**PS. The evil pink bow shows up again.**

**Please review.**


	6. Lights, Camera, Randomness!

(This happens in the human world, somehow. Please don't ask me how.)

"Protoman, are you ready for revenge?"

Megaman had been standing outside the school for about two hours now waiting for the red raider. He must have looked ominous to passer-bys because of the numerous weapons he had on him. He had swords, blasters, diversion chips in stock, and the megabuster. Protoman came forward with swords. He never was too creative. Megaman spotted something different about him.

"Protoman, are you alright? You look sick."

"Damn you, Chaud." He was mumbling to himself.

Megaman saw the pink bow in his hair and started laughing hysterically.

"What the hell happened to you? You told me you hated the bow and had enough pride to overcome Chaud's will."

"Yeah, well, Chaud promised me a special viewing of Winter Cicada the movie if I wore the bow."

"You like yaoi!?"

Protoman blushed. "Yeah, but besides that, where's the author?"

"She's coming. I sent a phony e-mail saying a yaoi convention was here. She's an avid yaoi fangirl. That's why we can't lose. If we lose here, she'll lock us in a closet and make us perform acts of yaoi."

"With each other?"

"What the hell do you care? It's yaoi! I can't lose my world-saving reputation here!"

Protoman shut Megaman up and pointed towards the horizon. The author had arrived and was ready for yaoi. She had a camera and a list of her favorite pairings. What they didn't know was that the paper was their greatest enemy.

"Where's the convention?"

"Well, she arrived. Shall we?"

"Author, we've had enough of you crap! It's time to die, or just break you hand!"

She stopped about ten feet from the navis and whipped out a piece of clean paper and a pencil.

"Do you want war? Fine, you've got!"

She scribbled a few words and suddenly anvils dropped from the sky.

"Are humans supposed to have powers like this!?" Cried Protoman as they dodged the onslaught.

"Just go with the plot! I'm sure while writing previous chapters, she wrote something that would let us win."

When the navis were backed against a wall, she began writing more things. Sharp kunai came from nowhere and nearly pinned the navis to the wall. The only damage done were a few cuts to the suits. Protoman charged forward and withdrew his sword aiming for her throat. With a few flicks of the wrists, a small grey cat appeared in Protoman's path.

"It's so cute!" Protoman bent down to pet it when it suddenly transformed into a saber tooth tiger and bit him. "Holy crap!"

Megaman was about to back him up when a ghost attacked and scared the shit out of him. He curled up on the ground and moaned in fear. "I thought you said she had a weakness!"

"She does whatever it is. Wait, does she like Monty Python?"

"Yeah."

"Let me try this. Ni!"

She laughed.

"You dumbass!"

Protoman growled and cut the cat in half. He ran at her but missed as he tripped. Luckily, he hit her in the face with the bow.

"Pink…pink…pink! I hate pink!"

The two navis looked at each other in confusion. It took them a while to understand. Protoman stood up and hit her with the bow again. She fell and cried out.

"Get that away from me, it burns like acid!"

Protoman hit her a few more times until without warning the author's body disappeared. They stood shocked and very confused until a voice rang out from the sky.

"You thought I would actually fall for your little stunt? I know Lan's e-mail address! It wasn't going to work right from when you hit send. Oh, and if you were wondering what happened to my body, that was my kage bushin! Jutsu rocks! We'll meet again, soon!"

The voice faded and the two were horrified.

"Megaman, she controls us! What'll happen?"

"Lan will probably fail a few more tests and we'll face more darkloids. We can't do anything until we actually meet her. We'll just wait."

Protoman and Megaman looked to the sky as the screen began to fade and the credits rolled. It was a bad ending, but what will become of our heroes?

"Find out on the next episode of Megaman NT Warrior!"

**The end! It's all done and I'm very tired now. I won't make a sequel even though the ending makes it look that way. I hope you all enjoyed it and thanks to those who read and reviewed. Authors like it when they get compliments, right?**

**See ya, and please review.**


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